How Africa News
A mother who went on a girls’ trip to cheer herself up after a breakup was surprised to meet the love of her life – but now she has to put up with harsh jibes from her pals.
Amy Ugurlu, 34, traveled to Kusadasi, Turkey, to temporarily escape life back home following a split, and while out in a club, she noticed a ‘handsome’ man named Mahsum.
The single mother fell head over heels, and when she returned from her vacation, she added him on Facebook, sparking a developing romance.
Amy managed to return to Turkey twice before covid shutdown restrictions put the country on the red list and they were separated for eight months after their initial chat.
But, Amy’s friends were not pleased with the news of the romance, claiming that the caretaker from Glasgow, Lanarkshire, Scotland, was being foolish and that their relationship would end in tears since Mahsum was only with her for the visa.
Despite this, the couple has progressed and’skipped the engagement portion’ of their relationship, marrying in September – and now they’re trying for a kid.
Despite having met her ‘dream man’, Amy claims things haven’t been all plain sailing as people have been judgmental, costing her friendships and forcing her to grow a ‘thick skin’ online.
Amy, of Glasgow, Lanarkshire, Scotland, said: “I didn’t expect to meet the love of my life on holiday. I split up with my little boy’s dad so a friend and I decided to go away for a little break together.
“It was to get over a bit of heartbreak and away from life in general in Scotland.
“I saw Mahsum in passing in one of the bars and said to my friend ‘oh, he’s quite nice’. I spoke to him and asked where in Turkey he was from and so on, but nothing came of it.”
Amy thought that was the end of her encounter with Mahsum, but later she found his profile and thought, “what have I got to lose?” So she added him, after a few drinks.
Not long after returning from her ten-day trip in July 2020, Amy saw an offer for a cheap deal to Turkey and booked it.
She then began chatting to Mahsum online every day and when she returned to the country in September they spent a blissful week together and became an item.
Amy said: “I just felt so relaxed talking to him, he just seemed so genuine. I fell in love with him because he’s funny and just so caring, all my family love him as well.
“He wanted me to speak to his parents on the phone. He’s Kurdish and they’re quite strict over there with their culture and religion, so he was a bit worried that they wouldn’t accept me because I wasn’t Muslim and already had a child, but they did.
“He speaks English, at first it wasn’t the best.
“It would take me a lot of time to get him to understand some of the things that I was saying, I could tell right away if he could understand me or not just by the look on his face.
Amy returned to Turkey towards the end of October 2020, where she met members of his relatives before being placed under lockdown.
Because Turkey was on the red list, the pair was forced to spend eight months apart and travelled to Ukraine instead to meet for five days in July 2021.
Fortunately, Amy was able to travel to Turkey six weeks later, and she returned with her son, Anton Kerr, six, in August 2021 for a fortnight’s break.
The couple married on September 4, 2022, in Kusadasi, and their wedding honored both of their distinct cultures.
The Scottish guests wore kilts, everyone ate Turkish food, and they danced to the Halay, a national Turkish dance, and the Loch Lomond, a Scottish dance.
Mahsum is still getting used to the Scottish accent, while Amy is watching Turkish Netflix shows in an attempt to master the language.
Amy said: “I’d tell others who may be entering a similar situation that you need to have a lot of patience because it can be very hard.
“I’ve lost friendships over it just by people being so judgemental and thinking ‘oh, he’s a typical Turk’ but here we are three years later.
“A friend told me about the judgmental people and that you need to grow a thick skin fast if you want your relationship to work, and not let other people get in your head.
“She’s been married to a Turk for 15 years and still gets silly comments from people that aren’t educated on how you get a visa.
“People think they just come here and that’s it, they’ve ‘got their golden ticket’, as someone wrote to me on TikTok.
“At first it used to get to me when people would make silly comments like that and now it goes in one ear and out the other, I’ve grown that thick skin.
“I think ‘please go and educate yourself on how hard it is to get a visa’ as they think that once they’re in the country that’s it.
“But after two-and-a-half years he has to apply for an extension of his visa, then after another two-and-a-half years for indefinite leave to remain.
“If anyone told me that I was going to go back to Turkey, meet someone and marry them within a year, I would have told them, ‘not a chance’, but with him, it was just so different.”
Mahsum said: “When Amy came to speak to me for the first time at the bar I felt nervous because she was drinking at the bar for a week and I was a little shy to speak to her.
“We exchanged a few words but never exchanged numbers and I was upset about that.
“Amy went home and I thought that was it, I wouldn’t see her, but about one week or more later she sent me a friend request on Facebook and my heart skipped a beat, I called her right away.
“Meeting for the first time and spending quality time instead of over a video call was amazing.
“I was excited [for us] to get to know each other – we relaxed by the pool, enjoying drinks together and were eating out. I didn’t want it to end.
“What drew her to me was her beautiful smile, blue eyes and lovely pale skin.
“I knew she was the one because the feelings I have for her are different from what I ever felt with anyone else.
“When I was talking to her I was very happy, something just clicked and I knew.
“Celebrating our wedding was like a dream – Kurdish and Scottish people came together as one big family. The men in their kilts were very different for my family to see.
“I was so happy, both our families travelled long distances to celebrate our special day.
“My family travelled 24 hours on a bus from Cizre to Kusadasi and my in-laws flew from Scotland and England to Turkiye.
“It was overwhelming how many people travelled so far and we appreciated it so much.”
