I wouldn’t say I am a dating expert, but I can say I have learnt a lot from the dating world. Being in Nigeria and having dated some Nigerian girls, I have come up with some basic rules, even if you are a novice, follow this rules and you are good to go. All these rules applies if you are below 35 years old(below marriage age) or if you don’t plan on getting married any time soon.
1)Never, ever fall in love;
Yes you heard me right, you better shoot yourself in the head than fall in love, forget about the idea of love you see on TV or novels, here in Nigeria it doesn’t happen that way, if you fall in love, you are at the mercy of whoever you are in love with, although some girls are worth it, its just a very very small fraction of Nigerian girls that deserve that fairy tales types of love, a handful of them don’t value your love, even if you have money to spend on them, they would only love your money, you are nothing but a regular guy to them if its only love you have to offer them.
You think I am joking? I know a girl who has a boyfriend that she claims really love her and even willing to spend money on her, and yet she was willing to have sex with me just for the fun(yes, you heard me right) , I also know another girl who we both talk dirty to each other, even though there is a guy that really loves this girl, follows her everywhere, always ready to help her , always ready to go out of his way to please her, you know what this girl told me about him, that she feels he is a blood sucking leech. Seriously, some girls could really be bitches. I know you are imagining that these girls I am talking about are those loose and fun loving girls that don’t care, no, they are not, the one I just told you about is a very serious girl who is decent and doesn’t look anything like a heart breaker. Do not let emotions cloud your reasoning ,guys don’t fall in love.
Yes , date plenty girls and be very smart, make sure none of them finds out, guys are polygamous in nature, act according to your nature, date as plenty girls as you can simultaneously and don’t take too much interest in any of them, the one you eventually fall in love with is the one that will end up breaking you into pieces. And please never attach your happiness to any girl, never attach your happiness to the amount of girls you can date, still do other things that interest you and do girls as a means of chilling out nothing more, don’t take anything personal, don’t take any girl special, if she quit, its her loss, you still continue to have fun, never beg any of them.
3)Make sure you are gaining something from them: Make sure they contribute their quota to the “dating”, anything at all, if they aren’t contributing to the relationship, they won’t value it, make sure the girl is trying to make the dating work and not just you alone, if she isn’t trying to make it work, you shouldn’t be bothered, that’s why you have a collection of girls to pick from , so it shouldn’t bother you one bit. Even if she says no sex before marriage, do things that are close to sex, and don’t take anything personal, never get attached to her because of anything special she does for you.
4)Expect anything at anytime:Don’t ever get caught off guard , always be prepared for anything that happens, the girl might just quit at anytime without warning, don’t let it get to you, because you should know that most girls make decisions based in their emotional roller coaster, and emotions are like the whether, you can’t predict it , always be ready , always imagine the worse case scenario, are you ready for it? A girl who claims to love you so much at this very moment , could wake up tomorrow to realise she doesn’t love you again, yes it has happened to me times and times over again.
5)Love yourself always;
No matter what a girl might say about you, it doesn’t determine who you really are, its all emotional manipulation, some girls are prone to using emotions to manipulate guys when they believe the guy can fall, no matter what she says, just know its nothing but her opinion and it has no relationship with the truth, a girl has told me I was heartless, uncaring, inconsiderate all of a sudden without prior offence, and even after I was the only person who asked after her health and being a gentle man to her, do you know how I reacted? I was totally cool and unaffected by her words, you know why? Because I know opinions aren’t always facts and two, because i know lots of girls use emotions to manipulate directly or indirectly, consciously or subconsciously. So I wasn’t even moved by her words at all, I was just saying “ok”, ” alright” and smiling, I wasnt even feeling bad or angry at all, that’s because I have total control of my emotions and I would never give anybody power over my emotions.
6)Always use you brain, be smart.
Be smart but try not to be too smart because not everything are the way they seems, you just have to thread carefully, always be at your best , no one says emotions are bad, but the more you intercept your emotions with your logic , the better for you. Don’t completely throw away your emotions , they are very useful and they tell you lots of things from your mind, but always be ready to analyze your emotions, be at peace with yourself. Your happiness is what matters most.
P.S: There are so many Nigerians girls that are worthy of your love and are virtuous lady, its just majority aren’t worth it. if you are ever lucky enough to have one of the good ones, never let them go because the good ones are scarce.