With conflicting interests, arguments occur. But arguments and misunderstandings can be properly managed with the right amount of civility and objectivity from both parties involved.
To handle conflict maturely, certain words and phrases must be avoided. This is because words are powerful; leaving a lasting impression on the subconscious of our loved ones. It is important therefore, to remain calm during arguments or during a misunderstanding and carefully select the words we use.
For longer lasting relationships, avoid using these seven phrases with your partner;
The phrase, ‘shut up’ tends to fly around easily during arguments. Usually, in the heat of the moment, blurting out this hurtful phrase is an attempt at imposing an end to the discussion on your partner.
Asides being hurtful, ‘shutting your partner up’ is highly disrespectful as it implies you have little regard for their opinion and what they have to say at that moment.
Should you feel reluctant to engage in an argument or discussion with your partner, simply suggest to them politely that you’d rather have that conversation on a later time.
I Wish I Never Dated You
Saying these words or ‘i wish i never married you’ to your partner begets serious repercussions even when said ‘harmlessly’.
Similarly, blurting out comparisons between your partner and your ex for instance, is completely foul and disrespectful. Never for instance, say things, “I wish you could be more like [insert ex’s name]”.
You’re a Failure
Nobody deserves to be humiliated because they do not meet your expectations for them least of all, your lover. If you feel your partner is a failure, you probably have no business dating them in the first place.
Of course, this doesn’t mean it’s inappropriate to encourage your beau/belle to do better. In fact, being a force of raw and uncut honesty and support system for your partner whenever they flop is a blessing. But in doing so, being sympathetic, patient, and loving is sure to drive your partner into doing better.
You’re an Idiot
Along with every other curse word or phrase is a huge no, no. Should you feel frustrated, or hurt by your partner, convey your feelings to them respectfully.
You’re Too Fat/Skinny
As ‘helpful’ as you may feel uttering this to your partner, this is pure suicide. Bodyshaming isn’t restricted to harsh or over-dramatic comments alone. Telling your partner they are too fat or thin is a sure ticket to letting them know you do not appreciate them just the way they are.
If for medical reasons, you’re concerned about your partner’s weight, book them an appointment with a medical specialist and support them the best way you can.
I’m Leaving You
In whatever form aid, this phrase should be avoided unless actually meant.
Avoid threatening or emotionally blackmailing your partner with threats of divorce or break up. It’s not only a sad attempt at getting their attention, but also a seed that when germinated, could actually lead to an actual separation.
I’m Sorry But
Uttering this phrase to your partner, negates your apology. By including ‘but’ in an apology, you’re indirectly half-assing an apology to your partner.
This means that despite your wrongdoings towards them, your actions are justifiable. Not a great move if you plan on making your relationship work.
Sure these are not the only words to avoid saying to your partner as there are a number of similarly abominable words and phrases.
In learning how to accurately communicate with your beau/belle, insist on treating them first with respect, decency, and love no matter the situation.