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LIST: 7 Ways Every African President Wants To Be More Like Donald Trump!

Before Donald Trump was elected we published an article outlining five reasons why Donald Trump could never be an African dictator. One of our readers felt strongly enough to write in to tell us why that article got it all wrong. We laughed so much we thought it was worth publishing. Here it is.

With all due respect, I would like to respond to an excellent prior article in TRUE Africa entitled, ‘Five Reasons Why Donald Trump Could Never Be an African Dictator.’

Maybe, maybe not. I propose a counter point of view. I agree with South African comedian Trevor Noah, when he said that while Barack H Obama is America’s first Black President, Donald J Trump will be America’s first African president. Thus, I submit to my fellow TRUE Africans seven reasons why Trump would make a great African president…

1.
Trump is already a billionaire

This would actually save most African nations the expense of having to enrich their presidents. In fact, it may be a good idea for African nations to only elect leaders, who are already rich. It will save everyone a lot of time, money and bullets.

2.
Trump insults his opponents magnificently

Utter disrespect for his political opposition – in the opposing political party, or even his own political party – is impressive even by African standards.

His missives are simple, strong and 140 characters or less. Easy to translate, too. ‘Faire _______ Grand Encore!’

If all his tweets were compiled and published, every politician would study them like the Holy Bible.

3.
Trump lives in a gold tower on Fifth Avenue in New York City.

Need I say more? What African head of state would not want to live in a gold tower on Fifth Avenue… with his name on it… next door to Tiffany’s… across the street from Harry Winston and Bergdorf Goodman? Are you kidding me!?

And don’t forget, it’s only a 20 minute walk to the United Nations (if he wants to walk) where he can deliver fabulous speeches to all the assembled world leaders every year or so.

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4.
Trump flies everywhere on a private jet with his name on it

Again, need I say more? I would be surprised if some African leaders did not start to copy the Air Trump style. But if they don’t meet the financial criteria (see #1), it could get real expensive, real fast.

5.
Trump is complete, 100% in control of his ‘kraal’

Three wives, six kids and I don’t hear anybody complaining. Trump has mastered divorce American-style. Don’t hate the player…

6.
He doesn’t need 90% of the vote to assume power

In fact, he doesn’t even need 50% of the vote to assume power. Trump has become President of United States of America not only with fewer votes (62 million) than his vanquished opponent Hilary Clinton (64 million), but with fewer votes than the outgoing president Barack Obama (66 million in 2014). Now that, my dear friends, is power.

7.
Trump says that he has a master plan to make the common man money

(This, my fellow TRUE Africans, is the ‘Big One’.)

Every strongman from Robert Mugabe on down says that they are doing it for the people. Trump’s election has to do with money. He promised to bring back jobs to working-class Americans, who feel that they are getting left behind by technology and globalism in places most elite Americans never travel to like Ohio, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin and South Dakota.

If Trump can truly Make the Average American Rich Again, then his supporters will march to Mount Rushmore in South Dakota and carve his face on the side of that mountain next to those iconic presidents George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt.

Not even José Eduardo dos Santos has his face carved on the side of a mountain.

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Written by How Africa

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