It’s easy for a confident person to give advice to someone who suffers from a lack of confidence, that bit’s simple. The hard part is for the unconfident person themselves to deal with self-confidence. You can’t instantly change your personality, but you can, by gradually exposing yourself to things that might make you feel insecure and build your confidence up slowly. It’s not as difficult, as you might think, and here are ten tips on how to gain self-confidence:
1. Dress confidently
An easy tip on how to gain confidence is just dress confidently. Everyone feels good when they look good, so try treating yourself to some smart new clothes. Don’t wear things that make you feel uncomfortable, that will only make things worse; but if you look sharp, elegant and feel comfortable, it will tremendously help you build up your self-confidence.
2. Listen closely
Listen closely to what people are saying, especially in a group situation. If you lack confidence and you may find yourself not paying attention to what people are saying, because you know that you are not going to speak up yourself. As a starting point, listen carefully to what people are saying and you will soon find yourself joining in the conversation.
3. Speak up and don’t be afraid that you’re going to say something stupid
We are all human and even the most confident speaker can say something a bit daft sometimes, but try not to be afraid to speak up. Make it a target to add just one comment to every group discussion, and gradually, soon you’ll find yourself used to speaking up. It will become easier each and every time you do it.
4. Set yourself targets
Confidence is not just about speaking in public, it’s also about building your own self-esteem. Set yourself some goals in life and document your progress against them. It doesn’t matter if the goals are only small ones; it’s the recognition of your own achievements and congratulating yourself on them that is the important thing.
5. Be grateful for what you have
Another simple tip on how to gain confidence is to be grateful for what you have. Don’t dwell on your weaknesses; make a list of the things that you have to be grateful about instead. Set aside some time at the end of each day and make a list of all the good things that have happened, the loving people in your life and your achievements for that day. Focus on these and you will become amazed at just how much you have going for you, and it will build your confidence up for the next day ahead.
6. Take a front row seat
If when faced with several rows of seats, you always head for the back row, then make a conscious decision to sit at the front instead. Your fear of being noticed more, because you are at the front, is completely irrational; it’s no different from sitting at the back! Get out of your comfort zone and your self-confidence will grow.
7. Try walking faster
It mind sound a bit silly, but you will be amazed at how much more confident you feel when you walk briskly. Head up and walk at a good pace, it will make you feel much surer of yourself and it prepares you nicely for the tasks ahead.
8. Be kind to yourself
People who lack confidence are often very harsh critics of themselves. Avoid talking yourself down and use motivational words to yourself instead. You can buy motivational speeches on CDs, but why not try writing your own? Write down a short speech to yourself of all the things that make you feel good, confident and make you feel special and then, recite it to yourself before you go into a difficult situation, that might otherwise make you nervous. You’ll see how this simple trick will help!
9. Compliment others
Another secret on how to gain confidence is to compliment other people. You can start to break the cycle of negativity in your head by complimenting those around you. Create a positive environment around you and that will be fed back in the form of confidence boosting compliments to you.
10. Take it one step at a time
Boosting your confidence is not an overnight task, so take things slowly. Try and gradually be more assertive in conversations, slowly expose yourself to situations that used to cause anxiety and above all, believe in yourself. Each and every one of us is a different person, with our own unique qualities, so celebrate your own qualities and don’t constantly judge yourself, nor compare yourself to others.