The Russian Defence Ministry view of next year begins with a snowy January view of a hulking Topol-M intercontinental mobile missile system captioned cheerfully: “Cargo delivery to anywhere in the world.”
Another icy calendar greeting comes in September with a picture showing a uniformed female sniper taking aim to shoot.
“Some women can blow your head away,” reads the caption.
The calendar was unveiled in apparent deliberate timing as the West marks Christmas Day.
This kicks off a long Russian holiday season which includes Orthodox Russian Christmas Day on 7 January.
The March 2009 calendar shows the increasing number of women cadets joining Putin’s military ranks.
The message is: “Shooting a glance is the Kremlin’s secret weapon.”
In February the picture is the Tu-95 strategic bomber, nicknamed the ‘bear’.
Here the message from defence minister Sergei Shoigu, a close ally and holiday buddy of Vladimir Putin, is: “Russian ‘bears’ don’t hibernate in winter.”
April shows “Russian snowdrops” – aka Russian Special Forces equipped with chemical attack masks.
More special forces are seen in June examining their weapons, with the caption: “Tuning equipment before a ‘concert’.”
In July we see a view from a ballistic missile launcher with the defence ministry humourists saying this is a “Russian waffle-maker.”
In August the message is “even crocodiles fly if you’re a pro” showing a threatening-looking Mi-24 ‘Crocodile’.
The picture for October shows an “advanced PC user” – a soldier using a Kalashnikov, known as PK.
November shows the Kornet portable anti-tank guided missile.
Here the joke is aimed at the British – cornet used to be the third and lowest grade of commissioned officer in the British cavalry.
“Kornet is not a rank, Kornet is a calling,” says the Russian military.
In December 2019 we are shown some Russian Christmas “toys, candles and pop up guns”.
With an eye to the future, the picture in May – when Russian stages its annual commemoration of victory against Hitler – shows two young girls.
“Drills for Victory Day parade 2033,” reads the calendar caption.
Putin has poured money into his military machine in a bid to reverse the disparity with NATO that followed the collapse of the USSR a generation ago.
Recently his forces have seen action in Syria and eastern Ukraine.
In 2014, Russia defied the West in annexing Crimea from Ukraine.
As 2019 approaches, relations between Moscow and the West – which has imposed tough sanctions on Putin’s cronies – are seen as worsening.