To begin, I would like to start out by pointing to some statistics. Divorce rates are well known to be unfortunately high in our times First Marriages ending in divorce come to somewhere around 41-50% depending on your statistics source. Second Marriages are around 60% and Third Marriages your chance of divorce is probably 70%.
Needless to say, our generation is doing something fundamentally wrong when it comes to relationships that would cause such high rates of relationship failures.
I believe anyone reading my opponents opening round would probably agree that view is a really really common view. “All that really matters is our love….that will be enough to hold us together through all of this”
Conclusion form those 2 observations
While that view is one everyone wants to believe, that Love is what is really important in a relationship, the success of Love based marriages vs. the success of non-love but rather forced arranged marriages is an incredibly stark difference.
There divorce rates are at a startling 4%. In other words while our American Love based relationships failure has become a very common occurrence, the failure of the arranged kind is virtually unheard of. Something is not working with the ‘Love is most important view’ and something is working with the ‘Love is not that important view’.
Money and Marriage:
Meanwhile statistics are also clear as to money’s involvement in relationships. If you and your partner are fighting over money you have a 30% chance greater likelihood than other couples of your relationship failing, and if your married of your marriage ending in divorce.
It is the number cause out of all marital problems that is given as the reason for a divorce, people not taking care of their money problems and their finances.
Both Dave Ramsey and Doctor Phil will tell you if your relationship is to work out, the two of you need to get your finances in order and there a lot of reasons for this.
Money is a relationship issue that is quantifiable in its ‘give and take’. Time, space and affection as Dr Phil puts it’s while being things compromises may need to come with, you just can’t measure the compromises ‘dollar for dollar’ the way you do for money.
To quote Dave Ramsey “if we could agree on the check book, let’s face it there would be nothing left to fight about but the who gets the remote”. When you make money matters important in your relationship, you’ll find yourself and your spouse growing much closer if you are truly trying to work on the issue.
In most couples because opposites attract one will be a ‘nerd’ with money and the other will be a ‘free spirit’ personality with their money. The Successful relationships are between two people who find a way to make these differences work to better complete each other, the nerd making sure the free spirit doesn’t have more fun than they can afford and the free spirit making sure the nerd does have fun!
It’s really not even debatable if money is important to marriages, its statistical proven fact, not taking care of your finances is not taking care of your marriage either.
Money and what we Value:
There is an old expression “show me your checkbook, and I’ll show you what you value”. If the other person in your relationship really matters to you, then I would be surprised if I got to see your debit card transactions not showing that you’ve spent any money on them.
If a girl mattered to me no doubt my bank statements would show I have spent much on the flowers, and restaurants, and movies, and gas going to pick her up, etc….. Should the girl not truly matter to me, you will not see me making any financial sacrifice on their part.
And why would I? if I don’t truly believe they are going to be a long term part of my life, than I’m not going to make any long term financial investment into their well-being and happiness. Major investments anyway if I’m smart.
And this saying is not just a skewed view I tailored to fit this debate. It is clearly a truth when you can see how it applies the same to all other areas of life. Claim you are for charitable giving, give me your checkbook and let me see if you do any such thing in the middle of July when Christmas is not on your mind. Claim to put God first in your life, give me your checkbook and let me see if you tithe your income.
Claim to value your future, let me see if your checkbook says you save. Value your children? Then your checkbook ought to show paying for their tooth fillings, and Tetnus shots, and school lab fee’s.
To show your partner in your relationship that you value them the most, its most important you show that through your wallet.
1) The ‘Love is key’ relationships are failing
2) The ‘non-love arranged’ relationships are succeeding
3) Money problems cause divorce
4) People that save their finances in Financial Peace University often save their marriages
5) What you value is what you put your money on.
6) Value your relationship than you put money on it.
What is your say in this debate…………………………………………. Comment Now