Men and women have very different ideas about what living together means. Women typically see it as an almost inevitable step toward marriage, while men see it as a no-obligation “test drive.” Couples who initiate a live-in relationship under the fog of such contradictory assumptions are already in trouble
Cohabitation is a big step to take in any relationship and both parties involved have to consider a lot of factors before living under the same roof.
Couples in such relationships may grow apart in the long run if they lived together for the wrong reasons. This is one bad side of couples cohabiting.
If you and your partner are thinking of living together, here are some wrong reasons why you may want to reconsider that option:
1. To avoid or hasten a marriage proposal: This is specifically for the men, as much as living together means everything except that you aren’t married to her. Slowing down on a marriage proposal or hastening it may be a wrong reason to live together.
2. To help you discover yourself: You can never discover your true self by living with your partner. Rather, moving in together would complicate things for both of you.
3. To save cash: If you think you’ll save more money by moving in with your partner, it’s better to go get a roommate. Couples who decide to do this should have good jobs so one doesn’t become a liability to the other.
4.To avoid Being Used: You’ve heard the old expression, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?“ It’s an ugly phrase, but there’s some truth to the message. Living together results in regular, no-strings sex for especially a man, thus removing the sexual motivation that is part of a marriage proposal. And don’t worry about his proposing just to bed you — there are too many sexually available women out there for a man to propose marriage just for sexual release.
5. Living together takes the excitement out of being newlyweds: Being a new bride and moving in with your husband to start a life — and perhaps a family — with those shiny new rings on your fingers to show the world your commitment, is a wonderful experience that many women still hope for. Put the cynics and haters on ignore — their bitterness reflects their own choices and reality, not yours. Many, many couples still live “happily ever after” after marriage and you can, too. You just need to know where you want to go in life, and what choices are most likely to get you there.
6. Couples who live together are less likely to get married: Cohabiting couples tend to have a more lax attitude toward commitment and don’t work as hard to stay together. When their relationship goes through a rough spot — as all relationships do — it is all too easy to just walk away. The legal and public commitment of marriage motivates couples to work through conflict, strengthen the relationship and stay together.
7. If you have kids, they need to be protected: Very few unmarried couples who have children end up staying together in other words. Without the commitment of marriage there is no real guarantee of what can happen to your kids. Many kids end up being molested and abused by their parent’s partner just because most of these partners don’t see themselves as parents to the kids of their unmarried partners. Of those couples that do keep their relationships intact until their children are grown, 93 percent of them are legally married.
This is important, since children who are raised by both biological parents in a low-conflict home are more likely to be emotionally and psychologically healthy than children whose parents are cohabiting or divorced. They are less likely to experience mental health or behavioral problems, or to live in poverty.