Lovely, radiant, gorgeous– these are some of the words that people commonly use to describe a bride-to-be. But there are other words that describe them as well- over emotional and volatile and irrational. Who do you think is primarily responsible for them getting over emotional or moody?
You may find it difficult to believe, but people closest to them contribute to their incipient hysteria. It is often her friends and family that might encourage her to turn into “Bridezilla”. So whatever the situation may be, you should most definitely avoid saying the following things to a bride-to-be, who is already on the edge:
1. It’s going to be the best day of your life!
A wedding should be only the first of many happy days, and should be a mirror of all the lovely things that lie ahead. But, just by saying something like this to the bride, under the guise of being helpful, means that you are just trying to overwhelm her with ridiculous expectations. After all, you do not want the bride to spend her entire wedding day thinking that the best is already behind her. You also don’t want her to keep thinking whether has she truly made it big enough to be the best day of her life, do you?
2. Get whatever you want because you only get married once
We Indians already have a tendency to go overboard when it comes to weddings. Ostentatious does not begin to cover it. But you need not add fuel to the fire by encouraging any demanding and unreasonable tendencies that the bride-to-be has. Isn’t it best to stretch your budget only as much as your pockets truly allow you? So, no need to go overboard in overindulging her with these ideas. Now, refusing to compromise is not a very nice way to start this new phase of life, right?
3. You should spend less on _______ and more on _______.
People really like telling brides-to-be what to spend money on.
The food is more important than the music!
The dress is more important than the honeymoon!
The invitations are more important than the venue!
We realise that this sort of advice is given with love, but it is extremely subjective and not all that helpful. Your judgments can plant seeds of doubt and guilt, and really suck the joy out of even the smallest things. After all, the wedding day is all about the bride and the groom, and if you do not like the arrangements or venue or food or anything else, surely you can keep your peace. Just because you would spend more on the live chaat counter and less on the flowers, doesn’t mean that the bride should feel bad about wanting orchids.
4. Hmm… it is good.
First of all, what is hmm? This is one word that we are tired of hearing so often. It is a very confusing word (is it a word?), it can mean good or bad. How you intend to use it while talking to a bride-to-be can leave her all the more frustrated and confused. If she has asked your opinion on something she intends to buy, be it her dress or shoes, it is goof to be honest. But, if it is something she has already bought, then just say it is good, least your ‘hmm’s put some buyer’s guilt in her over emotional heart. No need to confuse that poor soul with your ‘hmm’ sentences. Hmm, are we right?
5. The wedding night is going to be awesome!
There’s so much hype about wedding nights, and such an assumption that it will be magical is all the more stressful for a newlywed couple. As it is new couples have lots of anxieties related to their first night together. So, telling them that their wedding night will be their “first night” is like adding fuel to their performance anxieties. The truth is, after 10 hours on your feet, you just want to have a good night’s sleep.
6. When are you planning to start a family?
She is just getting married. She has focused on planning her D-day look, her honeymoon destination, her room in her new home, gifts for her in-laws, and all of that. Family is not what she is planning right now (or not even planning on planning right now). She might be 22 or 30 years, no matter what her age is, or how long she has been dating her fiancé, or how well you know her; this is not a question to ask her in midst of the wedding planning.
Well, these were some things we could think of. We are sure all you soon-to-be brides and newlyweds would have interesting things to add to this list. Do share those one liners that surely turned you into a ‘bridezilla’ by leaving your comments below.