Divorce is tough for the kids to comprehend, and there’re no surprises there. From “will I have a new Mommy” to “why can’t Daddy live with us”, the event is too traumatizing for your little ones. Even if you have decided to part ways amicably, for the kids, it’s never going to be easy to understand or to live with. But worry not, because we have listed some parenting tips that separated parents can follow to improve their relationships after divorce with kids!
Important Points Separated Parents Should Remember:
Helping your kids cope with the divorce means that you need to create a stable and peaceful environment at your home and attend to your kid’s demands with a positive attitude. Though it won’t be a seamless process, you need to keep the following points in mind:
A divorce affects your kid’s mind and initially, she may display sadness, shock, anger and frustration. But as a responsible parent, both you and your partner should handle the entire situation wisely.
Always keep your kid away from heated discussions and visible conflicts, as they can make your little one feel more depressed and shattered.
Encourage your kid to have an open conversation with friends and other family members, so that she never feels isolated and lonely.
Tips To Improve Your Relationships After Divorce With Kids :
Here are some valuable tips that may help you establish a strong and stable relationship after divorce with kids :
1. Constant Reassurance And Support From You And Your Partner:
When a marital conflict occurs between the parents, the kid assumes that they are the one to blame.
After a divorce, you need to reassure your little one that you love her the most, and it’s only because of the other parent’s lack of commitment, or clash of perspective, the marriage did not work.
2. Have An Alternate Arrangement:
Whether it’s about taking your kid out for a special activity or fun outing, either of you should be involved.
If you partner cannot make the time, you can try taking his place and take your child to the respective place. Your child should never feel neglected by any of her parents.
3. Encourage Your Kid To Communicate:
After the divorce, if you notice your little one spending the day confined in a room lonely and not speaking to others, you should encourage her to talk and laugh.
Expressing the feelings helps your kid to have the sense of empowerment and overcome the frustration.
4. Don’t Fight In Front Of Your Kids:
Having heated conversations regarding finances or marriage separation in front of kids can make them unhappy and traumatized.
For your kid’s sake, avoid fighting or having parental battles in front of her. Instead, it is better to have the argument over the phone or in a separate room.
5. Aim For Peaceful Transitions:
Even if both you and your partner are not having an open argument or conflict, your growing kid can sense the tension and become anxious to solve the issues.
No matter what your relationship is with your partner, it is always advisable to create a neutral environment for your kid.
[ Read: Co-Parenting After Divorce ]
6. Allow Your Kid To Express Her Disappointments:
Never downplay your kid’s pain and sadness, as it can turn the situation worse and she tends to become introverted.
With best intentions, try to confront your kid by saying that, “Don’t worry, everything will be fine”.
Whether your kid seems to be upset about the divorce, let her express her anger and disappointment in healthy emotional reactions.
Rather than avoiding your kid’s negative emotions, offer optimum support to your heartbroken kid and let her understand that her feelings matter to you the most (1).
source: Mom Conjunction