Grandchildren, parents represent the door to the outside world. In addition to feeding and protecting them, they take care of them. Parents also play a very important role in the development of the personality of the child, because small, the latter reproduces everything he sees and is affected by everything he hears. This is why parents must be very vigilant when they talk to their children. Some phrases can be devastating for their self-esteem.
Phrases to never say to his child:
You are worth nothing:
This is the worst expression a parent can use when speaking to his child. Tell your son or daughter that it is worthless to break your self-confidence. Let us not forget that at a certain age, parents represent everything for their children. So hearing such a sentence certainly will not leave them marble . The latter will try to seek their approval in every possible way, which will undoubtedly not take on their self-esteem.
This quest for approval will therefore develop with age. Ranging from a desire to be appreciated by loved ones to a need for recognition and validation by others no matter their connection to the subject. Of course, these needs can be seen as a driver, but when they become difficult to fill, they will have the opposite effect!
Stop crying :
When a child knows that he has done something wrong and will be punished or is not feeling well, he expresses himself with tears. It is his way of expressing his feelings. Now, for most parents the crying of a child is like a sign of distress that they do not really know how to handle. Their first reflex is therefore to ask the child to stop crying. Error !
To ask the child to stop crying is to prevent the child from expressing himself and to push him to repress his emotions. The fact of crying is often good, due to pain, shock or fear, which is why it is necessary to let the child discharge himself of this emotional tension and then calm down.
To tell her not to cry, is to tell her not to release her emotions and keep them inside. And that’s not really the desired effect! On the contrary, parents should encourage children to express their emotions and feelings. Tell them that there is no harm in crying and that it will relieve them and try to communicate better with them.
You disappoint me :
A parent may be disappointed with several things in life, but never with his child. It is his role to show him the right path and guide him to succeed in his life. When the child makes a mistake, he or she must try to put it back on the right path, because it is partly the parents’ fault if the child has done something wrong.
You have to teach your child to differentiate between good and evil, and the most important thing is to explain to him why his actions are unacceptable and how to fix things, instead of blaming him and blaming him for your disappointment.
You’re not enough:
To tell his child that he is not enough, implies that he can not be loved like other children or become the person he wants to be.
Parents have the role of boosting the trust of their children and teaching them to know their true worth and to appreciate and accept themselves as they are. All this develops their self-esteem, without pushing them to have an oversized ego.
Only babies are afraid:
Using this phrase, parents push their children to reject their true feelings. Fear is a feeling like the others. There is no harm in being afraid, on the contrary, this can help to be more vigilant! But it is important to learn how to deal with one’s fear and not flee from it, because, after all, being brave means being able to confront one’s fears and not be afraid!
Reassure your children and tell them it’s normal to be afraid. Everyone can be afraid in certain situations and at any age.